My name is Mercy.
I got married at 25, finished my PhD at 27 and became a Professor at 40.
So fast you said? Yes, everything around me work fast. It was now that I realise that it was a misplaced priority.
My ambition blindfolded me and I got it all wrong, that is why I am sharing my experience through this medium to warn and encourage our young mothers not to be careless as I was back then.
I worked very hard as a lecturer and as an administrator, always busy that it became my language to my children.
My mum was around to nurse the children for me for sometime, the moment they clock ten, I usually send them to boarding school, though my husband was not in support but I always find my way. I have no good warm relationship with my children, 2 boys and a girl.
I never knew it was a bad idea not to have time with my husband, children and the household, until 5 years ago, when guilt, loneliness and restlessness filled my heart. I sent for my children to rejoice with me at my 60th birthday.
The two boys, staying in Canada said they are busy and that their sister will come down from South Africa.
Two days to my birthday, my daughter sent this message to me,
"Mum, I am very sorry not to be around over there, there is no time to squeeze out, my husband needs my attention at his newly established clinic, presently, I'm pregnant, very busy and lonely in a strange land".
Please pray for us mum. Happy birthday". I could not get out of the meaning I get from the message.
"First-thing-First". When they needed me for warmth and discussion, I was not available, now I need them for warmth and discussion I could not get them, rather they returned my slogan back to me "I'm busy".
To worsen the matter, my dear died in his sleep a month after...only one of the children came without his family to the burial ceremony, I was dumbfounded!!!
ADVICE: it is good to work and be a hard working fellow. But hear this important and salient truth, Parenting is a sacrificial work, give it all it takes, any work that will take away your attention too much from your home - Avoid it and be careful!
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Yours Truly,
Chidinma
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Family is everything,no matter how busy we are we should always create time.
ReplyDeleteLife is too short for regrets; it's better to now have a plan of action. She did well anyway and her children are independent, which is lovely. It's just that now she has softened and her children maybe are busy like she was in those days. She can still respond maybe by being warm and loving with her neighbours, friends, family, and maybe people in great need for someone to care. When you know better you can do better...
ReplyDelete